The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

 


Now here Hollywood got it right.

It’s a scene from the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. A one-armed bounty hunter (Al Mulock) thinks he has a bubble-bathing Tuco (Eli Wallach) right where he wants him, with his pants down – actually off.  Tuco shoots and kills his adversary with a hidden pistol.

Bath scenes were rightfully rare in Westerns because  bathing in the Old West was as well. Pioneers and cowboys initially  held a peculiar notion that washing often  would harm their health. They feared that frequent bathing would leave their pores vulnerable, becoming breeding grounds for bacteria and disease. And simply put, it was a hassle - a real pain in the _ss  - to haul buckets of water into the house, heat them up, and fill a tub. Then you had to empty it. Besides, there was no way to buy a real tub until Sears, Roebuck & Co. began publishing mail-order catalogs in 1894. In 1895. A Sears catalog tub cost around $22.50, about $900 today. Over time more of the  tubs found their way into western homes  and the  "Saturday night bath" was established because everyone wanted to be clean for church  on Sunday.  Family members shared the same bathwater, though, yes, one at a time. During the 1800s trail riders too eventually found the need for an occasional bath.  By the 1850s, three types of public baths were available. The most common bathhouse had private tubs, like the one Tuco used. Then there was the public bathhouse, and the third kind is not mentioned here because I did not want to post a Content Warning.

Many people think of the American west  just as  a glamorous place, but it was far from that. Nasty, questionable, and unsanitary practices were abundant.

While the chances were good you didn’t have a tub at home; the odds were even better you had no toilet. There were none as we know them today.


Your toilet was an outhouse, an outdoor shed covering holes in the ground.  Imagine the unsanitary conditions: pungent odors, bugs galore, and no toilet paper. That's right, No Charmin—this essential didn't grace the Western world until the mid-1800s. Before that it was grass, corn cobs  and such. Old Western outhouses make  gas station restrooms and those Porta-Potty plastic sheds at your kid’s soccer matches appear opulent.

Buy you a drink?

The world of old western saloons was a time when booze flowed freely, but don’t look for “Top Shelf” liquor.  Many “bars” were makeshift saloons known for serving a notorious brew called "rotgut." This was  poor-quality random liquors combined with who knows what that often  made people sick. If it didn’t, then maybe this did.  The bar rails were adorned with  towels to wipe your hands or maybe  mop the subs from your beer soaked beard. This courtesy provided a breeding ground for germs galore.

People often settled close to streams and were besieged by flies and gnats by day and mosquitoes by night. Families all ate dinner together. It was a family meal alright. Everybody ate from a common platter and drank from common tin cups. Indigestion was almost assured -Just don’t look for the Tums – and the water from those streams often caused dysentery.

“Don’t forget to brush.” You never heard that from Mom after the family meal ‘cause no one did. People seldom brushed their teeth, if ever,  except maybe at public eating places like boarding houses, saloons  and stagecoach stations  where a community toothbrush, made from cattle bone and hog bristles might be available. No Colgate smiles here.

Yes, the frontier was a difficult place to call your home. Settlers were often ashen with fever, gaunt, scrawny, and just  plum  worn-out. Their children were sickly, distressed and often arrived at “tails end”- wherever that was – with fewer parents and siblings than they had when their journey began. Their diets were poor, and those vittles seldom included vegetables. People dwelled in primitive surroundings with lice, fleas, and bedbugs. But really boys and girls, moms and dads, ladies, and gentlemen, you already know much of this  While those people on the western frontier led a hardscrabble life, it’s old news. Either from stories, articles, schoolbooks or just plain common sense and intuition, you know that the real frontier was vastly different than the Iconic Old West. It was a hard life sure, but nevertheless romantic ideals tied to the American West are not buried on Boot Hill. They remain alive -  as alive today as the day they came to life. As a result, the American West and its colorful people and landscapes still remain a popular culture as well as a popular history, even though the time of the “Cowboys and the Indians” was relatively short.

The Old West is mythologized as a place where people haven’t changed much. It’s like the Twilight Zone’s Willoughby.  Just as they were in the old days, folks are steadfast, hard-working, and follow an impeccable honor code. Today many of us work indoors in blue and white collar jobs.  We have little or no  opportunity to  soak in the “Big Sky,”  the big valleys, deserts, and the open range that inspires nostalgic respect for the frontier life.  But we don’t jump on the band wagon – make that covered wagon  - and turn our backs on the heroic frontier story  told in countless, books,  movies and Gunsmoke episodes. We abide by the notion that the West was “tamed” through an unbroken series of triumphs and acts of individual courage. Who among us would have the grit – and the  “gumption” – the spirited initiative and resourcefulness to do what these pioneers and settlers were able to achieve? Our love for the West is based in part  on the stories we tell ourselves—a subjective experience colored by the unconscious and by our culture at large.

Any attempt to disparage our American heritage by dismantling cherished fables about the West and stripping away some of the  romance from the history of  “Wagons Ho,”  does not change an important fact. The Wild West, Old West, or just the American West  was a complex convergence of strong and determined peoples, communities, and cultures that decisively shaped the face of America – an America we love and should love.

Yes there was certainly “The Good,” as well as “the Bad,”  and as for the “Ugly,” well, we just choose to look beyond it.

“New land is harsh, vigorous, and sturdy. It scorns evidence of weakness. There is nothing of sham or hypocrisy in it. It is what it is, without an apology."  J. E. Lawrence in the Nebraska State Journal.

Rollin', rollin', rollin'

Rollin', rollin', rollin'

Keep movin', movin', movin'

Though they're disapprovin'

Keep them dogies* movin'

Rawhide!

Don't try to understand 'em

Just rope and throw and brand 'em

Soon we'll be living high and wide.

My heart's calculatin'

My true love will be waitin'

Be waiting at the end of my ride.

 

 

God Bless America – You can’t say that  often enough.

 

 

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