Ron the Yarn Spinner

 

   

                 Bacon Bites and Porky Pie

In England they call  a side of bacon a "gammon" and a thin slice of bacon is known as a "rasher," but any way you slice it, many of us savor the taste of bacon and enjoy  bacon and

eggs.

                
 As the bacon begins to sizzle (Can you hear it?) a mouthwatering aroma fills the kitchen.  Smoky, meaty and slightly sweet, it evokes a feeling of comfort and relaxation,  especially if you have a tough day ahead, or perhaps it is raining or cold or maybe you’re just feeling a bit cranky  - just the thing to make the day feel better. As the meat caramelizes, the fog-like aroma grows strong slowly nestling around the kitchen table. The bacon crisps up and its redolence - the bacon bouquet -  draws you out from under the covers like a muted bugle call of reveille. Each note in synch with a sizzle, you cannot resist ; you reach for your rasher. But  peoples’ passion for cured pork reaches much farther back than the frying pan and deep into history and to many other parts of the world as well.

Bacon dates back to 1500 B.C. when people in China and Europe began curing pork bellies. The Romans  smelled the bacon a little later during their conquests in the Middle East. But soon people throughout the Roman empire people  were bringing the bacon home; some Romans becoming bacon  aficionados of a sort preparing a  version called petaso made with figs and wine.

Around 1700, British farmers got interested and devised their own system of curing pork and it became widespread on the continent. (That’s what they call the European countries other than Great Britain and Ireland). About a century later, pig farmers in Swannington,  Norfolk County UK, noticed some breeds of pig had meatier sides  than others and a transformation began that clearly distinguished “bacon” as the side of pork (the pig’s sides), cured with salt much like the bacon we find at the supermarket in the US today.
Now that we have brought home the bacon, you might wonder how hogs got here in the first place. I knew you would.

Pigs came to North America in several ways.

Early explorers brought livestock to the Americas beginning in the 1500s, including hogs. Hogs were valued by the colonists because they could be allowed to run wild and forage in the woods until the fall when fattened hogs could be hunted and slaughtered. Many outwitted their hunters and escaped. The Ossabaw Island Hog, a feral breed that has lived for centuries on Ossabaw Island off the coast of Georgia, is the closest genetic representative of those swine. Note that the one- on- one method of releasing hogs and hunting them later when fatted does not present a sustainable food resource. Hog husbandry requires a domestic settlement, in other words, a farm. You don’t find hogs in nomadic communities because you cannot herd them like cows, sheep, or goats. They are too pig-headed. lol
 
When Columbus sailed to exploit the riches of the New World, he carried with him a sounder (New word for you, means group) of pigs for two reasons. The first reason was to stave off hunger if they were blown off course or were lost. The second reason was that once they arrived in the New World the pigs would be domesticated and begin breeding on site. On one voyage he even dropped off a few while on a lay-over in Cuba, He came ashore with 8 and released them to multiply and provide a renewing food source to be hunted on future trips. Now you know the story of the Bay of Pigs.   (Porky Pie warning)

Hernando de Soto packed pigs with him too when he pulled into Tampa Bay in 1539. Thirteen of them. Three years later  he still had 700 left even after feeding his soldiers and allowing for the escapees. (The got-aways are the ancestors of today’s feral pigs and razorbacks.)  Then the Bacon Battles began. Some of de Soto’s group apparently passed out  porcine samples to the locals and Native Americans quickly grew quite fond of bacon and pork (Hog wild in fact)  resulting in some of the worst attacks on the expedition. de Soto finally decided that to keep the peace he had to give them a herd.

 He passed out the pork kind of like what they do in government today.

 
Geeze, now you are going to ask, “ What is a Porky pie?”  Boy you sure are inquisitive.
This term dates back to the early Cockney slang around the mid-1850s and is also one of many terms still in use in  Merry Old England today. Porky Pie stems from a British delicacy, the humble pork pie, but it really means a lie. For example: Don’t tell me a porky pie about the origin of the Bay of Pigs.  Got Ya.

You see, the name’s fishy. Bahia de Cochinos ( Spanish ) is called Bay of Pigs only by the Cubans.

The translation of "Cochinos," however, is NOT "pigs" although pigs are also called cochinos. Cochinos is the name of a fish, thus we have the Bay of the Fsh : Cochinos.
 
Happy? Probably not. Now you want to know what kind of fish is a Cochinos.

Never stops….

All right it’s the Queen Triggerfish. You see these in the marine tanks at “Pete’s Aquariums.” Not only colorful, they are fish-fascinating (like that?) so much so Jules Verne mentions them in his classic adventure novel, Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.    You read it right? Chapter 18. Trouble is, it is NOT Sea but SEAS. Everyone gets this wrong. (Want to know more ? See Note below.) Anyway, the Queen Triggerfish can weigh up to twelve pounds and grow to almost a length of two feet. So, what’s so special besides the fish’s beauty:

These fish typically shy away from divers when approached. But look out if you get close to their nests. They get very defensive and are capable of a painful bite. Triggerfish kill by biting into their prey and then blowing them apart using powerful jets of water to blast chunks of flesh from their meal. Then the triggerfish  casually dines on the bite-sized chunks of sashimi w/o seasoning. Bon appetit.

 The jet of water produced by these fish is so strong that it makes an audible clicking sound –  like the click of a handgun trigger.

 

Note:   

 Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas is a classic science fiction adventure novel by Jules Verne  written in French: Vingt Mille Lieues Sous les Mers

The book was widely acclaimed on its release and remains so; it is regarded as one of the premier adventure novels and one of Verne's greatest works, along with Around the World in Eighty Days and Journey to the Center of the Earth. Its depiction of Captain Nemo's underwater ship, the Nautilus, is regarded as ahead of its time, since it accurately describes many features of today's subs.

20,000 leagues? That’s a long way down, right? It sure is, about 70,000 feet, and today’s Los Angles class US sub has a collapsible depth of only 1500 – 3000 feet. So, Jules was out of his depth  so-to-speak  on this one, wasn’t he?

Nope.

The title refers to the distance, not depth, traveled under the ( various ) seas (Plural).

Vingt Mille Lieues Sous les Mers. Mers is French for seas. Sea is Mer in French so it looks like the “s” was lost in some translations. Bonus Round: And now you know the origin of the name mermaid.

A league is an old unit of length. It was the distance a person could walk in about one hour. The Romans adopted it and it became a unit of measurement throughout western Europe and Latin America. The term, however,  is long out of date, like cubit. Noah’s Arc was about 300 cubits long. You remember that from Sunday school, don’t you Bible thumper? (Sure, you do.)

 

So now that we have opened the Bacon Britannica, let’s turn a few more pages.

 

 

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.
                                                          Samuel Langhorne Clemens
 

So very true Mister Clemens a.k.a. Mark Twain….So how about some scenery with your breakfast?

 

”Wagons Ho.” Imagine this scenery: A wagon train on the  Oregon Trail - a convoy of covered wagons traveling together across vast stretches of unsettled lands.  As the wagon train presses onward, our intrepid travelers enjoy vivid vistas, encounter majestic landmarks, confront rivers to ford, mountain passes to navigate, and prairies to cross.

Then with the sun descending below the horizon, it is time to “circle up” the wagons and form a defensive circumference,  corralling livestock at the center. The wagons, large, sturdy vehicles with canvas covers stretched over wooden frames, protect the occupants and their cargo from the elements. (A little anyway.) Winchesters at the ready, night guards are posted while friends, kin and comrades  light campfires, grease fry potatoes with  one of the two “bs” -   bacon or bison and tell tales – some tall - while fostering a sense of camaraderie among fellow travelers. Come sun-up, you hear the alarm clocks, the  sentinels on duty  are firing their rifles into the air, signaling for everyone to wake up and prepare for the day. (Nothing like the smell of gunpowder in the morning.) Breakfast would come later: bacon and beans, and coffee. Most of us can’t imagine leaving the house without our morning coffee—can you picture driving a wagon for 12 hours without it? (Pioneers knew how essential this energy booster would be, so they packed tons of it and the animals got a cup of java too.) By 7am, the Pilot’s bugle call comes to move out. Those who are not ready fall into the dusty rear of the column for the day. The train moves at walking speed typically traveling not more than 20 miles a day. People walk alongside their wagons ‘cept the youngin’s, or the sick who ride an animal or lay atop the load inside the wagon. 19th century rural Americans knew how to make the most of what little they possessed and the majority had the constitution required to form the strong friendships and associations needed to build a frontier community. They were aware of the challenges of the frontier but also of the adventures, and  most of all the promise of a better life on the frontier for those brave enough to endure the hardships of the journey. (Got enough scenery? How ‘bout the bacon n’ eggs?)

One Recipe for wagon train coffee
Take two pounds of Arbuckle’s coffee, put in enough water to wet it down, boil it for two hours, then throw in a hoss shoe. If the hoss shoe sinks, she ain’t ready. (Ain’t Starbucks neither)

 

These wagon trains were instrumental in the westward expansion of the United States, carrying pioneers, settlers, and all their “stuff.” And while America might Run on Dunkin, the wagons ran on grease.   Each wagon requires maintenance ensuring the smooth spin of the wheel on the axles  on which they were mounted.  Lubricants  were applied to reduce friction transferring heat. On a covered wagon,  pioneers carried the Grease bucket hung off the rear axle.   

Axle grease was tallow, made from animal fat rendered from beef or mutton.  At room temperature, tallow remains as a solid that could be stored for long periods of time, but tallow lubes were often in short supply,  so bacon was the back-up. In an emergency, flatback - today's bacon - was sliced and wrapped around wheel spindles as a lubricant.

 

Early July, 1944. Normandy France

Soldiers from the  30th Infantry Division, regarded  as the number one American infantry division in the European Theater of Operations (ETO) during WWII, involved in 282 days of intense combat over a period from June 1944 through April 1945,  encounter an abandoned and apparently unoccupied farmhouse. Cautiously the squad enters, seeking combatants, grenades in hand for a room to room search. They descend to the cellar, dank, deep, and dark. There’s no one in the building. Everyone’s gone; they are about to leave when one of the soldiers – a Southern “boy”  - from Tennessee – yells, “Wait, there may be food down here.” He finds a bacon grease candle and lights it providing a smoky illumination of several jars on shelves. One GI picks up a jar and looks at it with suspicion. He yells, “There’s something inside but it is covered with some white “crap.” “Tennessee” hands his M1 Grand to my dad, grabs the jar with one hand and  uses his bayonet to remove the white covering. “That’s bacon fat you dumb-ass city boys…. bunch of jerks (or similar disparaging remarks).” “ There’s meat inside.” Surviving on less than savory rations, the men welcomed their newly found chicken dinner. The French call this Confit which means preservation - it’s been a common practice in France for centuries.

 So far we have lubrication, illumination and preservation (Hallelujah!)   to add to the list of bacon’s bounty. What’s next?

Well, it has been proven useful in treating certain disease  such as scabies and in the treatment of furuncular myiasis, a parasitic infestation in the skin and soft tissue with the larva of Dermatobia hominis. (Don’t look this up; You’ll be sorry). Also, a group of otolaryngologists (ENTs to you) successfully treated a man with catastrophic hemorrhaging with bacon grease.

How about bacon bombs?

In the Second World War, bacon played an important role during the time of rationing. It gained popularity as reasonably priced meat for families to consume on a regular basis. People returned the bacon grease left from cooking bacon to their butcher, who in turn donated the bacon fat to the war effort. Among many other military uses, bacon fat found its way into incendiary devices and explosives. 1 pound of fat could be converted into 1/10 of a pound of glycerin, which in turn made up ⅕ of a pound of nitroglycerin — a component of gunpowder and dynamite. Praise the Lord and Pass the  (Ammunition ) Bacon!

 

Once you bring the bacon home, you can experiment. You might even make movie night a whole lot tastier by swapping out the butter and oil for bacon grease to cook up some stovetop popcorn. This unconventional yet undeniably delicious method transforms a simple snack into a gourmet treat bursting with smoky flavor — and there are no added steps. Or you might add a little bacon grease to your dog’s dinner. Fido will thank you for it . And you can use it to trap mice too.

Seems everything’s better with bacon.

 

 

Today’s  Bacon meme.

Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, “Sorry – we don’t serve breakfast here.”

But you and I do, and bacon’s not only for breakfast. In 2023  1.7 billion pounds of bacon were consumed in the U.S. “BLTs,” Bacon-Burgers, Bacon Egg and Cheese, Bacon Wrapped Dates (Great), Bacon Candy,  etc.…….yes even Baked Triggerfish with Bacon and Garlic.

OINK !

 

  That’s All Folks (really)